Torbie 'tude

I love cats. If you do not, I encourage you to keep reading.


Many people do not share my affection for cats, which I've never really understood. I tend to assume it's because they've never taken the time to really observe the feline and how much they have to teach us. 


My husband and I have two cats, both Maine Coons. They are intelligent, sensitive, talkative, funny, curious and infinitely wise. These are qualities they share, but their personalities could not be more distinct. This post is about our female, Sadie, who every day offers clues to me for how to be an unapologetically empowered, independent female. 


Sadie has very strong Queen energy. My sister gave us a plaque that reads, "It's the cats' house. We just pay the mortgage." That sums up a great deal about our brown patch Torbie (short for "tortoise shell tabby") girl. She's in charge, always has been, and her expectation is that the rest of us will just fall in line. We do. 


Exceedingly clear about what she wants and needs, she calls us out if we fail to pay attention. She doesn't apologize, and she's never been cruel, she just wants what she wants and needs what she needs. And, as the humans that brought her into this domestic arrangement, it is our job to see that those needs get met. That's our end of the bargain, end of story. No "please" and "thank you" most of the time, just a tacit acknowledgement that this is what partnership looks like. 


She is resourceful, tenacious and a natural athlete. Adept at high jump, soccer and hide and seek, she can amuse herself and us for long stretches at a time. 


Conversely, she is delicately beautiful, perhaps a tad vain. Adoring of the spotlight, she can rock a diva 'tude that could make Mariah Carey look like a wallflower. She takes full ownership of this. 


She values her alone time and takes as much as she needs without asking permission. 


An intrepid explorer and calculated risk taker, Sadie trusts her instincts implicitly, follows her gut, and never lets others' ideas about what's right or wrong trip her up or slow her down. "Should" is not in her vocabulary.


The world is her oyster. She does not experience this fact from a place of ego, it is just something she knows, and it is the framework in which she lives her life.


As a family member, Sadie is a loyal companion, generous with her affection, and protective of our dominion. Among her jobs (all self-assigned) is keeping tabs on all household activities, watchful and attuned to everyone who enters and shares her domain. Bad day at work? She'll greet you at the door with head butts and a reassuring purr. Tummy ache or the flu? She's the furry, hot water bottle wanna-be curled up beside you for as long as it takes you to recuperate. Unexpected company? She maintains boundaries without worrying about whether she'll be perceived as "nice" or not. 


Not a day goes by that I don't marvel at her. How completely unique and multi-faceted and embodied she is; how unfettered by social constructs or idealized images or external expectations. She is everything she is and nothing she's not every minute of every day, without question, without struggle, without interruption. 


What a gift to have such a beloved and loving mentor in my midst, as I seek to move toward that kind of knowing and being in my own life.